How is love seen through kids’ eyes?

By Scott Mayes

 

How is love seen through the eyes of kids?

I recently asked some friends of mine to ask their young sons a simple question: “How do you know that your daddy loves your mommy?”

One response, from a 6-year-old, was this: “Well, you got married!” … but then he said, “when he makes your dinner for you and when he kisses you.”

Another young tot said: “it’s because Daddy bought mommy a Nerf gun.”

And my own 11-year-old says: “You take her on dates … and you kiss her a lot. That’s obviously a sign.”

While this is just a small sampling, the message is clear to me.

If you’re a parent, you’re a model.

Whether you realize this or not, you set an example every day for your kids.

Think about all the things we want to show our kids:

We want to show them not to lie. We want to show them not to steal. We want to show them to be kind to others.

But, what about Valentine’s Day?

This is a perfect day to show our kids about loving someone.

In our house — we have sons who are 16, 11 and 1 — I have come to realize that it’s not long before “serious dating” begins.

Their future relationships may well be defined by what they see in our household.

Yes, depending on their ages, your kids want to go to that Valentine’s Day party at school. They want the “SpongeBob” cards, the “Harry Potter” cards and the sweetheart candies.

But, don’t be naive. Just like every other day, they’re watching you for their lead.

Julie and I have been married 18 years.

In that time, I have learned that being married 18 years doesn’t happen by accident. Like any relationship, there are great days, tough days and all points in between. You have to make that relationship a priority to make it last.

I don’t know much about being a woman on Valentine’s Day – well, because I’ve never been one. But, I know how to be a husband and I know what makes Julie smile.

Sure, you can go to the store and buy a box of chocolate or go online and order flowers. But, you’ll be missing two opportunities if it ends there.

First, every married woman on the planet will have one of these things on Valentine’s Day. Do something more – something that takes more than your credit card.

How about breakfast in bed? Maybe you get the little ones ready for a change? What about a note of thanks (handwritten, of course) thanking her for all that she does to make the house run smoothly each day.

And, don’t forget the parenting piece.

Involve your kids in the morning. Let them help you with breakfast. Have them write handwritten notes, too.

If you want your kids to have an 18th anniversary, 25th or 50th, teach them how to love and how to be successful in a relationship.

It’s one lesson they’ll never forget. Little eyes are watching. Only you decide what they get to see.

• An editor by day, Scott Mayes is also dad to Matthew, Micah and Nathan. He’s a high school parent, a youth basketball dad and changes diapers. You can read his Dadventures blog at playdateyakima.com.

 

Filed under From the Mag