What do your kids need to know about Sept. 11?

What do your kids know about the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks? What  should they know?

I guess a lot of that depends on their ages.

We have a 16 year-old, a 10 year-old and a 1 year-old.

So, my oldest son was six 10 years ago and he’s heard some throughout the years in school, and from his parents.

My 10 year-old was 1 when the attacks occurred, so he doesn’t have that “remember when” moment that a lot of us do.

And my 1 year-old, of course, has no foundation to work from. If it’s not a tippy cup filled with milk or a snack, he probably doesn’t remember it.

So, what are parents to do with the 10^th anniversary?

The most important thing to remember is that you (and school teachers) should teach age appropriate information.

A 6 year-old doesn’t need intimate details about the death and destruction that took place that day.

A 16 or 17 year-old who has a basic understanding may be ready for a little more of that information now.

Don’t let Sunday get away from you and take an opportunity for a teaching with it.

At the very simplest level, I think there are two lessons that can be taught at any age.

First, life isn’t always fair. We’re not in control of everything. And, when bad things happen, we are responsible not necessarily for what happened, but how we respond to it. Teach your kids to roll up their sleeves and make good out of bad. Teach them to respond to negative in a positive way, in a way that makes our world a better place.

Secondly, there’s a lesson to be had here in stereotypes. Not all Muslims or all people with a certain skin complexion are terrorists.

Beyond that, know that kids at different ages can handle different amounts of intimate detail.

Need a refresher course before talking to your kids? Try this short quiz.  You may have forgotten more than you realize.

And, lastly, when it’s all said and done, the 10^th anniversary is a perfect opportunity to model compassion for your kids.

Lives were lost and changed forever. We should remember those touched in a great way. And we should use the opportunity to count our blessings.

• An editor by day, Scott Mayes is also dad to Matthew, Micah and Nathan. He and his wife, Julie, have lived in Yakima since 2008 and lived in Bakersfield, California on Sept. 11, 2001.

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